happy new year!

sometimes in life, like in movies or in books, you anticipate the ending before it even begins. the protagonist dies or the hero and heroine end up together. though it seems quite dumb to still continue watching when you know you're gonna end up crying at the shitty ending, it doesn't really stop us does it? it's kinda like life. our endings are all the same but we still live on and make the best of it. anticipation is part of preparation but honestly, there's just some things you can never prepare yourself for. even if it has happened before. so when the credits start rolling or when you've flipped the last page, the same question applies. do you start to harp on the past, worry about the future or decide to live in the present?

so afraid of loss are we that sometimes we're scared to even speak. or to even look away for a second. all we can do is to memorize every action and every word. and hope that with just a look, others will understand your intentions and your feelings. because when someone says goodbye, you don't know when you'll see him next. when someone walks out your door, you're not sure if he'll ever walk back into your life.

so my new year resolution for 2009 is to commemorate the past, celebrate the present and live for the future. it's gonna be a good year, really. job, new school, new friends,... i heard this line on tv this morning, 'I'm too blessed to be stressed'. i guess if we just keep thinking that way, life will be a lot happier (: happy 2009 everyone!

No matter what, no matter how hard you grab onto something - you still lose it, right?
-doug carlin, deja vu